Quiet Secrets
by WingedFlight
Summary: When a friend discovers Lucy's secret, and Susan begins to drift from Narnia, will Lucy be able to cope? Takes place after the Silver Chair and before Last Battle - Year 1943.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: **I've been wondering for a while what would be the reaction if someone in England learned that the Pevensie's are royalty. Coupled to that was my idea of sharing secrets, as you can tell from my story **Can You Keep a Secret?**. From my rambling thoughts about that sort of thing came this - originally meant to be no more than three pages of my notebook, it kept expanding until it's what it is today. I'm not going to tell you much more than that. _

_Now, I'm not completely sure about the age children would leave school. I know C.S. Lewis said that the Pevensies were all out of school at the time of the Last Battle (or, more specifically, Eustace and Jill were the only two still _in_ school). I looked on the Timeline that C. supposedly created, and it says that Eustace and Jill were only a year younger than Lucy, and as they are sixteen at the time of the Last Battle, I have deduced that sixteen must be the age that they would be for their last year at school. That being said, I decided that the year for this story would be 1943. Susan at this time is 15, Lucy 11, Peter 16 and Edmund 13. If I have made a mistake in my reasoning, PLEASE let me know. _

_And now I'm sure you are sick of my chattering, so here we go!_

* * *

**England - 1943**

Marjorie Preston was giving Lucy a strange look, one that made her want to wiggle uncomfortably. She resisted the urge, though, and waited as Marjorie made her way through the desks to sit beside her.

"Is something wrong, Marjorie?' Lucy asked uneasily. Her friend's look was beginning to give her shivers.

Marjorie started, as though unaware of her scrutiny. "N-nothing, Lucy," she answered quickly, a blush colouring her cheeks.

Something was most definitely wrong. "You aren't a very convincing liar," Lucy commented, doodling on the page before her.

Marjorie stayed silent for a moment. Lucy was tempted to ask her again what was wrong, but she could sense that Marjorie was struggling with something, and it would be best if Lucy waited.

"How did you learn to read people so _well,_ Lucy?" Marjorie asked suddenly. The question startled Lucy, and she missed the off note in Marjorie's voice.

"I, um, I suppose it comes from having older siblings," Lucy answered quickly. _I suppose it comes with ruling a magic kingdom for fifteen years. _

Marjorie's eyes narrowed. "I'm the youngest as well, and I can't read people nearly so well as you can."

Lucy bit her lip in dismay. She had been so unsettled by Marjorie's unexpected question that she'd let down her guard.

"Perhaps some people are better at it than others," she shrugged, praying Marjorie would let it go. "And you never told me what was wrong."

Marjorie gave a strange sort of laugh and turned away quickly. Lucy looked back down at her doodles and saw the crown she had drawn. "Marjorie," she said imploringly.

Marjorie turned back quickly. "I know your secret," she spat, jabbing at the crown on Lucy's page. Then she stood up abruptly and moved to another desk just as the teacher walked in.

Lucy's eyes stung at the harsh tone, so that at first she couldn't even absorb the words themselves. She turned to look over to her friend, but Marjorie sat with her head looking down, refusing to meet Lucy's gaze. Lucy looked down to her own page and scribbled over the crown as the words sank in. Marjorie hadn't been pointing at that. She couldn't have understood what it stood for. She must have meant something else.

But although Lucy spent the entire class telling herself so, the worry didn't leave her mind.

- - -

Lucy found Marjorie sitting beneath a blossoming cherry tree. She had a book in her hands, but wasn't reading, just staring into the distance as though deep in thought. Lucy walked over uncertainly, praying that Marjorie would not mind her presence.

Marjorie did look as though she wanted to leave, but stayed seated as Lucy sat down. Instead she slid her book off her lap, putting it on the grass to her left as Lucy sat down on her right.

Only once before had Lucy had a conflict with Marjorie. Lucy had been avoiding her friend because of a mistake she had made during her time in Narnia. She doubted Marjorie had even noticed. Now, however, Marjorie looked as though she didn't know what to say, and Lucy felt the same way.

"Susan's changed, hasn't she?" Marjorie asked suddenly. "Everyone's noticed. She's different somehow."

Lucy grimaced. Of all the topics there were to talk about, this ranked near bottom. "Yes," she said quietly. "I don't understand it."

"I do," Marjorie told her, and some of the bitterness crept back into her voice. Then she handed her book to Lucy.

Lucy took the volume carefully, studying the red leather that covered it, and wondered where she had seen it before. She opened the cover and read the handwritten words on the first page.

_Private Diary of Susan Pevensie  
__Gentle Queen of Narnia_

Lucy closed the cover of the book, and set it on her lap. "Where did you get this?" she asked quietly, resisting the desire to read her sister's thoughts.

Marjorie avoided Lucy's gaze. "A few of the girls were wondering why Susan was acting so different, so they snuck into her room and found this. They told me about it, and I… I wanted to see too. I mean, after they mentioned some of the stories in here."

Lucy felt a release of tension in her neck at Marjorie's words. Stories. That's all they were to Marjorie and the other girls. Suddenly this whole situation seemed a lot easier to deal with.

"She does write some fantastic stories, doesn't she?" Lucy commented, idly tracing the design on the binding.

Marjorie gave Lucy a side glance. "Yes. A whole different world where the four of you reigned as kings and queens for fifteen years, only to return to England as children again."

Lucy felt a pang at hearing the story of her life told in such an off-handed manner. She attempted to swallow her reaction, speaking through half-choked words. "I wish Susan would write more of these stories. They're so beautiful."

"Yes, it's certainly too bad they aren't _true._"

Lucy looked up in alarm at the tone of Marjorie's voice. "Yes," she whispered. "It's too bad."

For a moment there was silence, before Marjorie heaved a sigh. "Are you going to say it or must I make you?"

"Say what?" Lucy asked in a tiny voice.

"That the stories are true. That you did go to Namia-"

"Narnia," Lucy corrected, before inwardly wincing.

Marjorie raised an eyebrow. "See? The other girls may just think of these as stories but they explain so much about you – _and _your siblings! And besides, these stories, they're… too _good_ not to be true. I think I'd cry if it wasn't real."

"I would too," Lucy whispered, before wincing again. Why did her guard keep slipping? She had promised the others never to tell, but it seemed she was unable to uphold that promise.

"Lucy? Just tell me it happened," Marjorie implored.

Lucy sat silent for a minute before standing up. "I need to talk to Susan," she decided, and with the journal in her hands, she made her way back across the lawn.

* * *

_Next chapter: Susan! And a rather funny telephone conversation with Peter and Ed. And that's all I shall tell you for now! Ta-ta, and please help me improve as a writer by using the remarkable tool known as THE REVIEW BUTTON! Thanks a billion!_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **Yes! Second update in one day! I feel like cheering, so in the words of Aslan... cover your ears!... Ok, maybe not. And maybe a second update so soon isn't _that_ exciting, but it definitely seems that way to me. Anyway, it is safe to say that this is my favorite chapter of them all (including ones yet to come). It may not be the _best_ chapter, but it is most certainly my favorite. And now you can see why!_

_Edit: So I had some comments about the end of this chapter, so I changed it just a hair. Hope it helps!_

* * *

"I don't see why you care so much, Lucy," Susan laughed, her head hidden in the closet as she tried to find a suitable dress. "I mean, it certainly wasn't very nice of the girls to take my diary, but honestly, they were just stories. I don't know why you feel the need to keep them so private."

Lucy stood still in the middle of the floor, her mind frozen by Susan's words. "But it _did_ happen," she managed.

Susan laughed again. "Don't be ridiculous," she said, pulling out a midnight blue dress. "How does this look?"

Lucy pulled her mind away from Susan's startling revelation for long enough to notice what Susan was doing. "Is that… Are you going to a party? Is that _allowed_?"

Susan shrugged. "It's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission," she said lightly.

Lucy's face tightened at the words. "But if you're caught?"

Susan turned to the mirror, holding the dress against her. "They can't exactly make me leave the school now; it's my second last year. I'll get a bit of a lecture, maybe a tighter curfew…"

"This isn't your first time, is it?" Lucy realized.

"And it isn't my last, either," Susan confirmed. She reached into her drawer and pulled out a silver necklace. "A girl's got to have fun, you know. Maybe some time you'd like to join me."

Lucy grimaced. "No thanks."

Susan ignored her tone. "You can always change your mind. Now, do you think this will be elegant enough?"

An image sprang into Lucy's mind of Susan in a different dress. Also midnight blue, this one was not designed to reveal skin and figure, but to ornament a queen.

"Narnia misses you, Susan," Lucy said quietly.

Susan stopped what she was doing to cast an annoyed glance in Lucy's direction. "Are we back to that again?" she complained. "Isn't it about time you grew up?"

"I've _already_ grown up, and so have you," Lucy pointed out. "You just choose not to remember." And with these words, Lucy left the room before Susan could say anything to stop her.

- - -

Lucy stood facing the wall, one hand clenched around the telephone at her ear, the other in a tight fist at her side. There was a bit of a buzz coming from the earpiece, most likely from the noise in the hall at her brother's school. Lucy was beginning to feel impatient about the wait when a breathless voice came on the line.

"Lucy? What's wrong?"

"Edmund?" Lucy exclaimed. "It's a bit of a long story, but, um," she paused to check that no one was near to hear her words, "I think Marjorie knows."

"About what?" Edmund's tone was worried now, and guarded.

"About you-know-what," Lucy hissed. She didn't want to risk saying anything, even when no one was around.

There was a pause on the other end of the line, before Edmund uttered a harsh and very dirty word. "You didn't hear that," he added quickly.

"She certainly believes it," Lucy continued, ignoring her brother's language. "But she wants to talk about it and I don't know what to say, and besides, I _promised._"

Her mind flashed back to the afternoon at the professor's house where the four of them had quietly and solemnly promised each other never to tell a _soul_ about their adventures.

The other end of the line was still quiet, then there was a slight scuffle on the other end. Edmund announced, "Here's Peter," and then Peter's breathless voice was greeting her.

"Sorry for taking so long, Lu," he apologized. "I was outside playing cricket. What's the problem?"

Lucy explained the situation all over again, and waited through Peter's pause.

"Oh dear," he sighed finally, and Lucy knew that if he wasn't quite so stern with himself, especially around her, he probably would have uttered the same dirty word as Edmund.

"Can you trust her?" Peter asked.

"I believe so," Lucy answered doubtfully. She and Marjorie had shared many secrets in the past, but never one so big.

"If you aren't sure, don't say anything," Peter said firmly, "but it isn't necessarily a bad thing to let one or two people know. After all, this _is_ a part of us."

Lucy nodded, then remembered Peter couldn't see and said, "I think I'll tell her."

"Swear her to secrecy, then," Edmund said suddenly, and Lucy knew he was listening as well.

"I will," Lucy promised, suddenly wishing she were with her brothers in person. "I love you."

"We love you too," Peter assured her.

"Very much," Edmund added.

There was a short pause in which Lucy basked in the love of her brothers, before saying reluctantly, "I guess I should go."

"Yes," Peter sighed. "We'll talk to you soon."

"Real soon," Lucy said. She let her arm drop, then remembered Susan. "Oh, and Peter?"

But the line was buzzing, her brothers already having hung up the phone. Lucy sighed, reminded herself that she would see then, or at least talk to them soon, and set the phone back on the stand. She had the consent of her brothers now, but there was still one more person she needed to ask.

- - -

The only light on in the room came from the candle on Lucy's bedside table. She sat on the edge of her bed, watching the flickering flame and trying to clear her mind of any distracting thoughts. Instead, she filled her mind of Narnia, pretending for a moment she was in her room in Cair Paravel, watching the candlelight flicker off the stone walls and tapestries.

"Aslan," she whispered, opening her heart to pray. She knew, and had known for a long time, that here in this world, the Lion was known by a different name, but it still felt more comfortable praying with the name that had been on her lips for over fifteen years. "Aslan, I need help. I think Marjorie knows, but I don't know if I should admit that everything in Susan's diary is true. Peter and Edmund said it would probably be all right, but I wanted… I needed to ask you. Do you think it would be all right?"

There was nothing but silence in the room to answer her, but that was all right. Lucy had always had a harder time hearing Aslan in England. It wasn't like Narnia, where he would walk into her room in the middle of the night to talk with her when she was worried. She waited a little longer, and presently her gaze fell on the leather-bound Bible sitting on her desk.

A verse she had read several days previous came into her head, and Lucy could hear the Lion's gentle voice whisper in her ear;

_Listen to me and I will explain to you;  
__let me tell you what I have seen._

A smile crept over Lucy's face, and breathed in deeply. "Thank you, Aslan," she whispered, and she climbed into bed and blew out the candle.

* * *

_I hope you thought this was as good as I thought. And to find out... REVIEW! It helps the writing process._


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: **I've got a question for you guys. One of the comments I recieved on the last chapter said that the end part (prayer to Aslan) was too "preachy". First off, I'm not exactly sure what that means, or if I need to change it. What are your thoughts on it? Good? Bad? Please help!  
I do have a reason I wrote that section in that way. I based it sort of off personal experiences, where I'll be thinking about problems, I'll pick up the Bible, flip randomly, stop at a random page, and then read a verse that fits exactly into my situation. I thought that Lucy being Lucy, and having such a close relationship with Aslan, it wouldn't be too unlikely for that to happen to her. Thus, why the inspiring verse section took place in such a way. _

_Anyway, sorry for bogging this all down on you before the chapter even begins. You may start reading now!_

_Edit: (Yes, one more thing, sorry) Um, my page breaks didn't turn out before for whatever reason. I fixed it now, though. Sorry for any confusion that may have caused._

* * *

Marjorie was very quiet when Lucy saw her the next morning on the way to class. Usually in the mornings she was extremely talkative, saying anything that came to mind. That she was silent now told Lucy that Marjorie still hadn't forgotten what had happened the day before.

"Good morning," Lucy said timidly as they met in the hall. "Did you have a good sleep?"

Even a question couldn't get Marjorie to talk much. "It was all right," she said before walking a bit faster.

Lucy didn't let her go that easily. She reached out to grab Marjorie's arm. "Marjorie, I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm sorry about yesterday. I just… It's hard to… to talk about … that sort of thing." She bit her lip hard in anticipation for Marjorie's response.

Marjorie stopped abruptly and turned to Lucy. "So it is true?" she asked softly.

Lucy ignored the question. "Would you like to study in my room later?"

Marjorie was silent for a moment, giving Lucy a sinking feeling that maybe she was still upset. Then a slow smile began to creep across Marjorie's face, and she leaned over to give Lucy an impulsive hug.

"I'll be there," she promised.

"But you can't tell anyone," Lucy warned quickly. "Do you swear it?"

"May I be hit by lightening if I ever tell a soul," Marjorie recited solemnly. "Should we meet to right after classes?"

Lucy took a deep breath. "That sounds fine to me."

- - -

Marjorie was seated on Lucy's bed, a textbook open beside her, which she was completely ignoring. Lucy sat in a chair across from her, and although she knew Marjorie had been waiting patiently for nearly an hour now, Lucy still didn't know what to say.

"Do you think you might be ready to explain yet?" Marjorie asked, toying with her pencil. "Or were you really not going to tell me after all?"

Lucy bit her lip nervously. "Well, I've not exactly told anyone before," she reminded. "I just… maybe I just don't know how to say it."

"How about this," Marjorie suggested, sitting up straighter. "Yes, Marjorie, I did go to Namia-"

"Narnia," Lucy cut in.

Marjorie ignored her. "-and my siblings and I became kings and queens and ruled a country of taking animals and mythological creatures for fifteen years."

"I suppose that would be one way to put it," Lucy said slowly, a smile dancing on her lips.

"Well, then…?"

Lucy sighed. "Well, Marjorie, I _did_ go to…" she trailed off, still uneasy about intentionally saying the name in front of Marjorie, despite the fact that she was committed. She took a deep breath. "I _did_ go to Narnia, and… all those things you mentioned, they all happened."

Marjorie seemed to be still waiting, but Lucy was finished.

"Aren't you going to tell me about it?" Marjorie asked.

Lucy frowned. "I thought you read it in Susan's diary."

Marjorie looked away uncomfortably. "It's different to hear you say it now that I _know_ it's true. When I… read the diary, I thought they were just stories."

"Then how did you finally realize they were true?"

Marjorie looked down. "I couldn't stop thinking about the stories, and I began to notice things about you – and Susan too, although she covers it up better."

Lucy's face darkened in dismay. "What sort of things?"

"Well, the way you hold yourself so regally, and the look that comes into your eye when you try to solve a problem. And your manner of speech – sometimes it's just a bit more elegant than normal, and a bit of an accent comes into it-"

"An accent?" Lucy asked in surprise. She'd never noticed that in here siblings before.

"It's a very little accent. I doubt anyone would notice if they weren't looking for it," Marjorie assured her quickly.

Lucy still felt a bit uneasy, thinking that maybe the other girls who had read the diary might begin to notice such things. "What else?"

"Well," Marjorie thought for a moment. "There's your ability to read people. It just shouts of years of experience."

Lucy winced. "Sorry."

Marjorie lifted her brow. "Don't apologize for _that._"

"What do you want me to apologize for?"

Marjorie twirled her pencil. "Maybe for not telling me."

Lucy choked in disbelief. "But I couldn't tell you!"

"I thought we were best friends."

Lucy left her chair to sit beside Marjorie on the bed. "You are my _very_ best friend." She squashed the unbidden memory of her friends in Narnia, who arguably had been much closer to Lucy that Marjorie was. "But I haven't told anyone before, ever," Lucy continued.

"Why not?"

Lucy sighed deeply. "What could I tell you? What if you didn't believe me?"

Marjorie paused in thought. "I suppose. But I'm sure I'd have understood…"

"Understood what?" Lucy asked. "Do you believe I haven't thought about this? I was afraid you might treat me differently."

"How would I do that?" Marjorie asked feebly.

"I'm a _queen,_ Marjorie," Lucy pointed out. "I may not rule a country any longer, but 'once a queen of Narnia, always a queen of Narnia'. And it may not be apparent, but Marjorie," she paused for effect, "I've lived fifteen more years than you."

Marjorie was silent, and Lucy knew she hadn't made the connection before. Finally, in a rather shaky voice, she asked, "Why do you go to school?"

"I'm not going to draw attention to myself by acting as though I'm a genius. Besides, I don't know history, and other things specific to England."

Marjorie didn't move, and Lucy was afraid it was all too much for her.

"I'm still the same girl you knew three weeks ago," Lucy reminded her.

Marjorie smiled weakly. "And yet you are different. Ha-have you read Susan's diary yet?"

Lucy glanced over to the journal, which sat untouched on her shelf. Susan hadn't taken it back, but Lucy didn't want to invade her sister's privacy. "It isn't mine to read," she answered, and hoped she didn't sound too lofty, because Marjorie flushed red and turned away.

"I don't really need to either," she added with a smile. "I know all the stories myself."

Marjorie looked up again. "Would you mind telling me one now?"

- - -

Lucy sat in the grass below the cherry tree, watching Marjorie as she plucked blossoms from the lower branches. Finally, Marjorie sat down, dropping the flowers into Lucy's lap.

"What are these for?" Lucy asked, breathing in the scent of the blossoms. They were as close a scent to Narnian trees as she had ever smelt in England, and she could almost hear the dryads' silvery voices now.

Marjorie flushed. "You mentioned that in Narnia you used to make flower crowns, so I was thinking maybe you could show me how."

Lucy felt a smile grow on her face, and she began sifting through the blossoms. "I used to make them with Susan," she said. "The dryads would all help by running their hands through their hair until blossoms covered the ground. The scent was heavenly." She handed her chosen flowers to Marjorie, then lifted one of her own and demonstrated how to weave the stems together.

Marjorie slowly copied Lucy's movements. "Did you weave these often?"

"Not as often as we would have liked. We had a country to care for, after all. But every so often, when we had a little free time, Susan and I would slip away to the woods and dryads and we'd play in the blossoms." Lucy giggled. "You should have seen Peter and Edmund the time I came in late to dinner, half-dried flowers still crowning my head. Susan would have been terribly horrified, so I suppose it's a good thing she had taken dinner in her room that night."

Marjorie giggled too, a giggle that quickly turned to a groan as her fingers slipped and her crown fell to pieces. "I don't know how you do it," she sighed. "My fingers are so clumsy."

"It just takes practise," Lucy consoled, and leaned over to place her completed crown on Marjorie's head. "I've had fifteen year's worth. You've had two minutes."

"I suppose you're right." Marjorie gently touched the top of her head to feel the crown. "Now make one for yourself."

"Oh, I don't need to," Lucy hedged.

Marjorie stubbornly crossed her arms and jutted her chin. "Every queen needs a crown," she said with authority.

Lucy smiled and obediently leaned over the blossoms again to choose some more. "So true, Queen Marjorie," she sighed, and suddenly thought of how _nice_ it felt for Marjorie to know her secret.

"It's a lot easier now that you know," she commented idly, her fingers deftly weaving the stems together. "I had to be so careful around you so you didn't notice anything, and it could get rather stressful at times."

"But I found out in the end," Marjorie laughed. "But if it's so hard to keep the secret, why don't you tell everyone?"

"I already told you," Lucy reminded, brow furrowing. "I don't want people to treat me different. Besides, most girls probably wouldn't believe me."

"I do," Marjorie said softly, and reached out to take the finished crown and place it on Lucy's head. "And it'll be our secret."

"And my siblings," Lucy added.

- - -

Lucy and Marjorie were on their way back to their rooms, their flowers still crowning their heads, when there came footsteps behind them. "Would you look at that?" cooed a rather sickeningly sweet voice. "It seems the kids were playing in the garden again."

Her former good mood vanishing, Lucy turned to see Anne Featherstone, flanked on both sides by her friends.

"Hello, Anne," Lucy sighed. She took Marjorie's hand and turned to go on her way.

"Well, how about that!" Anne cried dramatically. "It looks like those two _queens_ don't want to talk to us."

Lucy stiffened at the harsh use of her title, even though she knew Anne used it simply because of the makeshift crown Lucy wore.

"I suppose you think _you're _the queen!" Marjorie exclaimed to Anne indignantly, pulling her hand from Lucy's.

Anne checked her nails in the pretence of nonchalance. "More so than you two."

Marjorie threw back her head. "Lucy's more of a queen than you will ever be!" she declared. "In fact-"

"Marjorie!" Lucy hissed in alarm.

"-she's a _real_ queen, you know, and-"

"Marjorie!" Lucy exclaimed.

Marjorie closed her mouth and looked at Lucy, her eyes wide as if just realizing what she had said.

Anne laughed scornfully. "Of _course_ she is. Forgive me for not bowing, Queen Lucy." She laughed again and turned to walk away. "Imagine that kid being a queen," she stage-whispered to her friends. "She couldn't handle a _school_, let alone a country."

"Gosh, I'm sorry, Lucy," Marjorie whispered, her face ashen. "Anne Featherstone just makes me so _mad_. Please say you'll forgive me."

Lucy sighed, watching the other girls continue down the hall. "I'm afraid you made the problem with Anne worse," she said, "but I forgive you."

Marjorie seemed taken aback by Lucy's simple forgiveness. "You…you aren't mad at me?"

Lucy shot her a sharp glance. "Of course I am a little, but I know how hard it is to stay silent when Anne Featherstone is around. I just hope she forgets this soon."

Marjorie shyly slipped her hand into Lucy's again, and Lucy tightened her hand in friendship.

* * *

_Just one last thing before I go, if you have any comments, or think that a particular section doesn't really work, or just want to say you like it, please leave a review! And if you _did_ have trouble with something, could you please explain what you mean? That makes my job as writer a lot easier. THANK YOU MUCHLY!_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed in answer to my question for the last chapter. I am taking those thoughts into consideration, and am actually going to go back and change the end of chapter 2 slightly - it will still have all the parts in it, but will hopefully be a little less "in your face". And I hope everyone likes this chapter! _

* * *

A knock on Lucy's door startled her out of her day dream, and she half-stood before the door burst open and Susan came in.

"Lucy Pevensie!" she exclaimed. "Bad enough you won't forget your fairy tales, must you go about spreading them across the school?"

"What?" Lucy froze in horror. "I haven't said anything!"

"Well you must have told someone," Susan said, her face growing dark. "Because everyone is talking about how 'little Lucy Pevensie is so full of herself, she thinks she's a queen'!"

Lucy let out the breath she was holding. Marjorie hadn't been telling any more people about Narnia. This was simply a reaction from the outburst that afternoon.

"It wasn't me," she explained. "Marjorie-"

"You told Marjorie?" Susan looked aghast. "Why can't you just forget this?"

Lucy took a deep breath. "All Marjorie said was that I would make a better queen than Anne Featherstone. She didn't say anything about Narnia."

"You told Marjorie?" Susan repeated.

Lucy crossed her arms. "You didn't seem to care if anyone read your diary."

"I don't care if anyone reads it; I care that you are telling people that the stories in it are true!" Susan exclaimed. "Because you know they aren't."

Lucy had never seen her sister so angry before. She'd seen her worried, upset, grumpy and frustrated, but never angry. It was quite a formidable anger, and Lucy found herself taking a step back from the onslaught of Susan's temper.

"How can you forget, Susan?" Lucy cried. "Don't you remember the crowns upon our heads, the constellations in the skies? Don't you remember the scent of fresh spring blossoms and the steps of the Great Snowball Dance? It used to be your favourite dance, Susan. You could do it for hours at a time."

Susan turned to look out the window. "I hate snow," she declared, as though the fresh spring air were to blame. "And I certainly hate looking at stars. And I've never worn a crown in my life."

Lucy's heart sank at Susan's denial. "Hate and love can get a little confused sometimes," she said softly. "But I know I love you."

Susan turned back to Lucy and her expression softened. "I love you too, Lucy. Just no more with the fairy tales, please."

Lucy shook her head. "I can't promise that. I'm not covering up such a large part of myself."

Susan sighed but said no more. As she stepped towards the door, her gaze fell on the diary, still untouched on the shelf.

"You still have it," Susan said, and Lucy couldn't tell if she were angry or relieved.

"You may take it if you'd like," Lucy offered. "I haven't looked at it at all." She felt almost eager for Susan to take the diary, for even now, her fingers were itching with the desire to open it.

For a moment, it seemed as though Susan was going to take it, but then she stepped away and opened the door. "They're just silly stories," she said, "I don't care if anyone reads them. Even you," she added defensively, as if determined to prove the stories were false.

Now Lucy's fingers itched even more, but she resisted the pull as Susan left the room. Then, in desperation to escape the temptation, she opened the door and ran out to the hall, choking back tears.

- - -

"Temptation is a funny thing," Lucy murmured, her head bent over her desk.

Marjorie looked over in confusion. "Why do you say that?"

"I'm just thinking," Lucy continued, avoiding the question, "it was temptation that caused Ed to go to the White Witch in the first place, and-"

"I thought you said it was because he had been rather greedy and had an issue with not being the oldest," Marjorie interrupted.

Lucy looked over in confusion. "I never said that."

Marjorie blushed. "Maybe I read it in your sister's diary."

Lucy stifled a groan at the mention of the diary, as she scribbled down the answer to one of the questions. "That was a part of it," she admitted finally, "but he was tempted by the offer of power, admiration… and enchanted sweets."

She lifted her head, and Marjorie nodded in understanding.

"And then Peter went through a similar thing at the How when we were in Narnia the second time," Lucy continued. "Aslan hadn't shown up yet, and Peter was tempted, however briefly, to release the White Witch. But Edmund was there, and having gone through temptation before, he knew enough to destroy the witch before it was too late."

Marjorie lay down her pencil and rested her head on her hand. "Is something wrong?"

Lucy thought it ironic that she had asked Marjorie that very question when she first noticed her friend acting differently because of the diary.

"I'm feeling tempted," she whispered. "Susan left me her diary, but I know I shouldn't read it."

Marjorie frowned. "Why not? If she left it for you…"

"But if she accepted that Narnia was real, she may not want me to read it!" Lucy cried. "And now I don't know what to do."

Marjorie bit her lip. "She does say why she doesn't… want to believe anymore. Maybe if you read it you would be able to help."

"Couldn't you tell me?" Lucy asked hopefully.

Marjorie fidgeted. "Well, I don't really remember exactly, and… it's your sister's diary, so you might understand better than I…"

Lucy sighed. "I don't know. It seems so private." She hesitated. "But if it will help Susan I suppose it must be alright." With finality she set down her pencil. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to read it alone."

- - -

For a long time, Lucy sat on her bed, the diary unopened before her. Occasionally she would reach out and touch the cover, only to withdraw her hand again. There was something about the diary, something extremely _Susan-ish_ about it that made Lucy hesitate to open it, even with her sister's permission.

The brass alarm clock on Lucy's table was ticking merrily, giving Lucy the feeling that there wasn't much time for her to read the diary. The feeling was absolute rubbish – if she ran out of time on this particular day, there was always the next day, or the day after that. Yet somehow, the ticking clock made Lucy just a little bit more tense, until finally she reached out and flipped open the front cover, past the first page with Susan's name, pausing at a dedication from the Professor.

_Susan,  
__May this journal hold your Secrets forever, that you may never forget. Remember, once a queen of Narnia, always a queen of Narnia.  
__Professor Kirke_

Lucy read this and thought of her sister as she currently was, refusing to believe in her home. Lucy sniffed and wiped quickly at her eye before turning the page.

Susan's writings began by describing the castle and grounds of Cair Paravel. Lucy was immediately drawn in by the vivid descriptions, and almost forgot that she was in England. She had never known that Susan had such a talent for writing, but perhaps that was because Susan had never been very fond of what she called "academics", and therefore hadn't shown off her ability.

After the detailed descriptions, Susan began to go into the adventures that had occurred in Narnia, starting with the Arrival, and finishing with the Return. There was a space of a few pages after that, and Lucy wondered as she flipped past if that was all Susan had written, but then she found more entries.

These entries, however, were not mere stories, but Susan's thoughts. Lucy felt slightly more uneasy reading these, for it felt just a little bit more like trespassing in someone's room or listening at keyholes. These were not just retellings of things Lucy had already known – no, the writings here were Private (with a capital "P") and Lucy paused in her reading to contemplate whether she really needed to read this or not.

Just as Lucy was thinking that it should be all right to keep reading – after all, she was looking for a reason why Susan was falling away from Narnia – she remembered her experience on the Magician's Island. It had been one spell out of many, to allow her to hear what others thought of her. At the time, Lucy hadn't seen what the harm could be, but it had damaged her friendship with Marjorie so badly that for a time, she was afraid they would never be friends again.

Now Lucy felt almost certain that the diary wasn't for her to read. She lifted the book, and it felt heavy – much heavier than it had been before, almost as if it were the Magician's book. It made her feel as if once she closed it, it would be closed to her for good.

"I want to _help_ Susan," Lucy whispered, a tear dropping to the page below. Then, with a heavy heart, she closed the diary and left the room.

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	5. Epilogue

_**A/N: **Here's the final chapter, the Epilogue. I don't want the story to end yet (it's so much fun to write) and yet it just _worked_ that way. ALSO, based on my story, _pevensiePOTTER _made a banner for this story. There's a link to it on my profile. Here's another THANKYOU for it. _

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_**Epilogue**_

_September 17, 1949_

_My Dearest Marjorie,_

_How I have missed you this past year! It's been strange not seeing you every day as we did at school. It's been hard too, not having someone with me when I wish to talk of Narnia. Susan's at home of course, but you know she's no good for that sort of thing, and it seems I never see Peter and Edmund either._

_Luckily, this week everyone is around – Eustace and Jill have school holidays and we're making the most of them. The Professor and Aunt Polly came up as well, and next Tuesday we plan on having a Narnian dinner! I'd love for you to come, if you find some way of getting out of that visit with your aunt. Let me know if you can come, and I'll make sure to set another place at the table for you. After all, you are a friend of Narnia too, even if you've never actually __been__ there. I swear you know the stories better than I do!_

_Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I am missing you. Please write soon (perhaps it will relieve the terrible boredom of your aunt's). I look forward to hearing from you soon. And I __promise__ I will let you know __all about__ our Narnian dinner._

_May Aslan be with you always,_

_Lucy Pevensie_

Marjorie held the paper tight in her left hand as she looked down at the grave. A gust of wind made the paper flap wildly, but Marjorie's grip was sure. Her eyes were red from tears that had poured for hours; tears that seemed to have run out, although she was sure there would be more by nightfall. It was all she could do to stand up right, rather than crumple to the ground in despair.

The words carved in the tombstone were clear, not yet subjected long to the elements. The message they held was short and emotionless.

_Lucy Pevensie  
__1932-1949  
__Forever Valiant_

Marjorie looked down at the tombstone and felt the tears returning to her eyes. _What would the Narnians think,_ she wondered, _to learn that their Valiant Queen had died in such a mindless accident? That she didn't even see it coming! _Her hand tightened around the letter, her last link to her best friend. _She was only seventeen!_

Presently she looked up through the tears to see a woman in the distance, walking slowly through the rows of graves as if reluctant to find the one she was looking for. As she came nearer, Marjorie realized with a start that this was Susan – a much different Susan than she had ever known. She looked as though she hadn't cared what she wore when she had dressed, and her hair was messy and tangled, and though thrown quickly into a bun with little thought.

Susan didn't say anything as she stopped beside Marjorie. Her eyes were red too; not surprising since Susan had lost her entire family in the accident. Marjorie began to feel guilty for being there when Susan most likely wanted to be alone. She said a silent farewell to her friend and turned to go.

"Stay."

The single word, combined with a simple touch of a hand to her shoulder, made Marjorie pause. She had never really known Susan, other than as her friend's sister and vaguely as the "lost" queen, and she couldn't imagine why Susan whould seek her company.

"I'm sure she's happy," Susan said in a broken voice.

Marjorie tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace.

"I'm sure… I'm sure she's fine. They're all fine," Susan continued. "They're in Aslan's country now."

Marjorie's mouth dropped open, not because she had never before heard the name, but because she had never thought to hear it come from Susan's mouth.

"I know Lucy told you," Susan murmured. "And I know that you believe. You're smarter than I am in that sense. I forgot."

Marjorie didn't know what to say, or how to comfort this obviously broken queen.

"I never really faced death here. I knew about the war, but I was apart from it – it was just an abstract concept to me. Father went away to fight in the war. Mother stayed home despite the bombings. But despite that, I didn't really realize that they might… die." Susan paused for a breath. "But There… in Narnia, I faced death all the time. In the fight against the White Witch, I knew my brothers might not come back alive. And during our reign, whenever they went off to war – and Lucy often went with them – I would fear for their lives, and knew I was helpless to save them. I always seemed to know that I would be the one left behind; that I would be the one to stay home and grow old while the others died in battle."

Marjorie placed her hand on Susan's arm. It was an insignificant gesture, but she couldn't think of what else to do.

"I was right," Susan continued. "The others died on their way to battle. Did Lucy tell you why they were on that train?"

Marjorie could only shake her head in confusion.

"She had an unfinished letter to me in her pocket," Susan replied, "along with a fine silvery dust. They had seen a Narnian at their dinner party, and were fetching the rings to send Eustace and Jill back to Narnia. The dust is all that remains of the rings – there is no way of getting back now."

Marjorie still didn't know what to say.

"I found my diary among Lucy's things," Susan continued, closer to tears now than Marjorie had ever seen her. "There was a note inside the front cover." She pulled out a faded paper, slightly crumpled, from her pocket, and handed it to Marjorie.

_Susan,  
__Your secrets are safe from me. Remember the raven.  
__Lucy_

Marjorie's throat closed up at the sight of her late friend's handwriting, and it was a moment before she could find her voice.

"I… I always thought she read it." Marjorie touched the writing, instinctively knowing the words to be true. "What raven does she mean?"

"It was an old Narnian poem," Susan explained, smiling shakily. "Lucy loved it.

"_See the raven,_

_Watch it fly to nest,_

_Hidden secrets in its beak,_

_Ne'er to spill,_

_Remember the raven,_

_And keep thy secret still._

"Lucy used to tell me to remember the raven when she knew I was keeping secrets from her. It meant she wasn't going to press me, but she'd be waiting for me when I was ready to tell her. It's her way of telling me that she really didn't read the diary. She would never have mentioned the raven otherwise."

Marjorie took her hand and looked down at the grave again, marvelling the friend who had had the strength to resist such a secret. Susan said no more, and neither did Marjorie, but when at last Marjorie left, she knew that she had made a new friend, there at the grave of the Valiant Queen, and she offered up a little prayer of thanks that she had had the privilege to know Lucy and her secret.

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_So that's it. Reviews would be a very pleasant joy to me, whether they contain critisizm or praise. Then I know people are actually READING my stories. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed already (and who will review!)  
WingedFlight_


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